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Friday, 23 May 2025

funny jokes and comedy Usa

  joks fun, commedy joks

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms anymore?
Because they make up everything.


2. I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
Complete waste of money — he just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooooh, I love ceilings."


3. My boss told me to have a good day…
So I went home.


4. I started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.


5. I used to play piano by ear...
Now I use my hands like everyone else.


6. If life gives you melons...
You might be dyslexic.


7. COMEDY BIT (Observational Style):
"You know you're getting older when you bend down to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there. Like, 'Should I go ahead and clean under the couch too? Maybe take a nap?'"


8. Dark(ish) but light-hearted joke:
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance…
We'll see about that.


9. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward?
A receding hare-line.


10. COMEDY BIT (Relationship Humor):
"My girlfriend says I’m bad at listening… or at least that’s what I think she said. I wasn’t really paying attention."

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