1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts.
2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
3. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
4. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
5. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
6. Stand-up Comedy Style Bit:
“You ever notice how GPS gets real bold when you miss a turn? Like, ‘Recalculating…’ with the attitude of a disappointed parent. ‘In 300 feet, make a U-turn because clearly we can’t trust you with even the simplest directions.’”
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