funny jokes and comedy Usa

  joks fun, commedy joks

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms anymore?
Because they make up everything.

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2. I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
Complete waste of money — he just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooooh, I love ceilings."

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3. My boss told me to have a good day…
So I went home.

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4. I started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

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5. I used to play piano by ear...
Now I use my hands like everyone else.

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6. If life gives you melons...
You might be dyslexic.

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7. COMEDY BIT (Observational Style):
"You know you're getting older when you bend down to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there. Like, 'Should I go ahead and clean under the couch too? Maybe take a nap?'"

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8. Dark(ish) but light-hearted joke:
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance…
We'll see about that.

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9. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward?
A receding hare-line.

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10. COMEDY BIT (Relationship Humor):
"My girlfriend says I’m bad at listening… or at least that’s what I think she said. I wasn’t really paying attention."

funny jokes and comedy India

Gujrati joks, gujrati fun, gujrati commedy joks

1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts.

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2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.

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3. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.

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4. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!

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5. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.

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6. Stand-up Comedy Style Bit:

“You ever notice how GPS gets real bold when you miss a turn? Like, ‘Recalculating…’ with the attitude of a disappointed parent. ‘In 300 feet, make a U-turn because clearly we can’t trust you with even the simplest directions.’”

indian jock

Teacher: Pappu, if you had 5 rupees in one pocket and 10 rupees in the other, what would you have? Pappu: Someone else’s pants, madam! 😄🇮🇳